The column doesn't have to be portentous stuff, and here's a good example: a collection of some of Rebecca Howard's favourite church slogans and mottos. Take them away, Rebecca...

These are some slogans seen on posters outside churches.

No God – No Peace. Know God – Know Peace

Free trip to heaven. Details inside!

Try our Sundays. They’re better than Ben & Jerry’s

Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons – come and hear one!

God so loved the world that He did not send a committee

When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out all right

Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday

How will you spend eternity – smoking or non-smoking?

Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives

Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world

It is unlikely there will be a reduction in the wages of sin

Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church

If you’re headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns

Forbidden fruit creates many jams

In the dark? Follow the Son

If you can’t sleep, don’t count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.